WOW!! What a year!

It is the morning of Dec 1st and I have been up since 4am!  It is also, more importantly, Naomi's 4th birthday today!!  Plenty of reason to be excited and celebrate, but not quite so at 4am.  I am not sure if it is the brownie sundae I had last night that is causing this cramping in my stomach, or all the different thoughts and emotions this day brings this year!  6 months and one day ago we were told Naomi is on the Autism Spectrum.  No major changes really took place from our day to day life routine or even for Naomi herself.  And yet, we live in an entire different 'world' since then!!  One with a new language, new mannerisms, new way of living, and feels so lonely!!  I think that has been the hardest part, the loneliness I feel at times.  Like we are on a dessert a island, and the only ones here are us...and Amanda.  She is Naomi's tutor/therapist, and has become one of my favorite people!!  Actually, I think I'd be easier if we were on a desert island, at least that way we wouldn't see everyone around us just going on with life, as though everything was normal and the same in ours!

      I guess if you read the paragraph above you'd think I wasn't in the mood for much celebrating.  But I am!!  I have been thinking and planning for today for a few weeks now!  But for entirely different reasons than with any other birthday for any of my four children.  Anyone that knows us, knows that we love to through a party, to celebrate our kids as much as possible.  But the last birthday we had for Naomi consisted of elaborate decorations that she didn't even notice, a cake that she didn't want to eat, and presents she had no desire to open.  Not to mention the 30+ kids I had running around my house, while she sat in the middle of the living room watching her favorite TV show, oblivious to everyone of them.  So we decided after that one to put parties on hold for a while...little did we know at the time that it might've been her last big party.  Last year we went to Chuck E. Cheese with just a couple of other friends.  She had a pretty good time there, but this year she is on a Gluten Free/Casein Free diet and can't have pizza...or cheese!  So this year what I have been looking forward to doing most for her birthday is speaking at an Autism Awareness event tonight.  Rachel, one of the teens (now young lady) that I was blessed to serve in our Youth Group, thought of us when the opportunity for a service project came up for a class of hers.  She and the professor randomly picked today as the day of the event, not knowing it was Naomi's birthday.  I choose to believe it is the hand of God reminding me that He hasn't forgotten about us, our our new found battles!

      One of the things this year brings that I hadn't counted on is anxiety, concern, and heartbreak.  I love our little girl more than words can express!!  I am so thankful that she is mostly healthy, that she is here with us.  But I am not sure that knowing she doesn't have any life threatening issues breaks my heart any less for her!  At a recent Autism conference I was at a mom of 3 children shared some of her story.  None of her kids are autistic, but they have each had major health issues that have caused a lot of the same impairments.  She even had one of her children pass away.  She shared that she wasn't quite sure what broke her heart more, burying her young child, or dying and knowing that she will leave behind two children that can't take care of themselves.  Seeing her two children (and herself) get older, knowing that one day she won't be here to take care of them any longer, they can't take care of themselves, and worrying about who will.  Perhaps since this marks another year of Naomi's life, this is fresh on my mind today.  I also recently read a book by a mom of three girls on the spectrum.  In one of the chapters she talked about shopping for Elmo dolls and Sesame Street toys for her daughter's birthday coming up... her daughter is turning 16!!  So that too lingers on my mind.  Will our Naomi be one of the 'miracle' stories of children who mostly/completely recover and go on to lead mostly typical lives?!?!  Or will I still be shopping for Diego dolls and Fur Real pets 10 years from now??

       Truth is, I don't know!  No one does, no doctor can tell us what she'll be like, no therapist can give us a specific outcome to expect.  We don't have a detailed treatment plan with a date in sight that we can circle and say, 'As long as we can make it to here, we'll be ok!'  No, we can't hold our breath, brace ourselves for the tough times now, and say that this is only for this moment.  Because the reality is this 'moment' may never pass!!

      Mostly I am thankful for our God, our Saviour!  I am thankful that even at 4 am He is there for me.  As I finally got out of bed, tired of laying there willing myself to sleep, He sent me this message : Don't Over Think It.  This is an email I receive each day on my phone.  I grabbed my phone and the laptop at the same time and decided to read the email before opening up the laptop.  What a great reminder, not only to not lay awake in my bed at 4am "overthinking" but that my God really is just that...my God.  He looks down at an earth filled with billions of people and sees me!  I am thankful that He does know what Naomi's future looks like.  He does  know how she will be taken care of long after her daddy and I are gone.  He has a day circled on His calendar when all of this will end.  Whether here on earth or in heaven with Him!  How perfect that today marks the first day of the month when we celebrate Christ's birthday as well!!  As we make plans for Christmas, make the lists, deal with the crowds in stores, and see our bank accounts dwindle away; let's not forget about The Gift that came to this Earth to fulfill every need on our list, to meet with each one of us personally, to fill our lives with more than we could ever have imagined!  My pain, heartache, and disappoint is very real...and at times all I can see!  But so is my God, and at times when I can't see Him or don't feel Him, He still there, never faltering in His care for us, never forsaking us, never forgetting about us. 

    I can celebrate our little girl today because regardless of how the world labels her, she is still our miracle!!  Regardless of the battles and hard times, we'll fight them all on her behalf.  Besides, who'd want a 'typical' life anyways!?!

    Happy Birthday Nay-nay!!  We love you more than you will ever know!!

    Now off to make some Gluten Free-Dairy Free cupcakes!!  And pray!!

     If you'd like to celebrate her with us I had a great opportunity for you!!  In honor of our precious girl, I and three other friends are running in a half marathon in January!  If you'd be willing to make a donation in honor of Naomi we'd so appreciate it!!  Marathon Fund

Mini-Extreme Home Makeover!!

I am really trying to write on here more frequently, but so far it has still been pretty hectic around here! Naomi didn't have any appointments scheduled for the week of August 8th, and then her treatment start date was pushed back to the 23rd, which was a great gift to us! We haven't really had a normal summer, and since it lasts for such a short time here in Northeast Ohio, we hadn't enjoyed it as much as I would've liked. So for the last couple of weeks we crammed 2 months worth of fun into 10 days....along with 9 kids!

The perfect start to this two week 'stay-cation' was a weekend away with my hubby. Three great friends of ours decided to not only organize people to come in and help us get the house ready to go on the market, but also send Jerod and I away for the a couple of days!!

It came at a very much needed time. We had been on survival mode since the beginning of June, and it had definitely taken its toll on our relationship. So it was great to be able to get away just the two of us, being able to focus on just us. On our friendship and on each other just as husband and wife....and not worry about being mom, dad, doctor, advocate, etc!!

We took a weekend trip to Columbus, but didn't end up leaving our hotel very much. We had considered going to Cedar Point (since we both love roller coasters) but after the hectic couple of months we had we decided we wanted to just veg, and we did just that. That Monday Jerod would be starting his new job, and would have VERY long days working, so we figured we needed to give ourselves a breather. We enjoyed watching 5 diff movies, sleeping in, working out together, and having some great food that we didn't have to cook, and even better, I didn't have any dishes to do!! :)

While we were gone, our friends worked hard on our house. I can't even explain what it did to my heart as I saw them come in Friday night and set up. They had a ton of food, and all of these supplies, and what really made me feel the most loved by them, was when they pulled out these charts they had made to organize everyone that would be helping. Sounds silly, but to me it truly showed all of the thought, care and concern they had put in. For several reasons from my childhood, I struggle with some different hard issues. Many of which have to do with relationships with other people. I easily feel like an outsider, like I am standing on the sidelines and I am not important. I feel as though I have to work twice as hard to 'earn' people's friendships. And that somehow, I am not quite worth the effort back. This was a message that I heard many times over growing up from people that should have been very significant in my life, and its just so hard to undo the damage. For over 6 years now it is something I constantly bring to God, and have made great progress on! But still, many times, including recently, I have felt this way because different disappointments and let downs with others. So to see all of this thought and effort on our behalf, and from people who up to this point I hadn't ever really done anything for. So I knew it wasn't because they felt they owed it to me, it wasn't because I had earned it, but because they truly wanted to do this. It was an AWESOME gift that they gave me!! I am soooo thankful to them for their time and love in a time when I thought it seemed we were carrying all of this weight on our own. What a blessing to find out we weren't!!

So Jen, Bry, and Judy, along with a ton of people that we have had the privilege to share life with these last 5 years took over our home for the weekend! We also had a ton of our Youth Group teens show up to help as well! It was a different experience for both Jerod and I. They painted, mulched, and organized! Most importantly they amazingly were able to clean up all of Naomi's 'artwork' from our walls! We came back to happy kids who had a great time with the friends they had spent the weekend with, and a clean home, just about ready to go on the market. The thought of all we had to do to get this house ready to show was overwhelming me so very much that entire month. As busy as we were I didn't see how it was possible to add fixing up the house as well. And I thank God for all of the people that showed up to help and did it for us! It was so much more than saving us time and work, it refreshed our spirits and revived our hearts. I truly can't express how loved and cared for I felt, probably the most by anyone besides my hubby and kiddos.

For all of you that were a part of that weekend, and we don't even know all who showed up, THANK YOU!! You all were amazing, and were truly the body of Christ showing us love!! Thank you!!!

Special needs...or just Special??

I can honestly say that from the beginning of this new journey I never got upset, angry, or cried about the fact that I have a child with autism. It wasn't this 'Why us?', 'This isn't fair', 'This can't be happening to us' or 'What are we going to do.' Our lives were forever changed, but we never struggled with it being this awful, doomsday type of occurrence. Not because we are these super strong, resilient super humans, but because we were able to filter it all through our belief that God is in control, and He has a specific purpose, meant for our good, through all of this.

I was looking for a quote to share from 'The Shack' that came to mind when I was thinking of this post and I ran into this one as well, and thought it also fit well with our situation:

"Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

It just reminded of how God is good all the time! Even though through Adam death came and we see the effects of it everyday in our own lives and all around us. God's grace is soooo amazing that He then turns the very things that sin, that was willingly chosen, causes in our lives to bless us with it. The problem is that we don't always see things like strength, humility, righteousness, and learning to give unconditional love as blessings. We tend to think more along the lines of success, health, finances, as blessings. So then not only do we deal with the struggles and pain a tough situation might cause, but we add to it by thinking that God is punishing us or worse has forgotten about and doesn't care for us, and totally miss how He is actually loving us through it all!!

Ok, sorry about the tangent, back to what I wanted to share about my heart today!

But what has brought me to tears many times is Naomi's heart. In the sense that as her mom, I don't want to see her be rejected and/or hurt by others. I don't want her to be labeled and shunned, because something is 'wrong' with her.

So last Thursday, I got side swiped with this reality. That some people simply won't be able to see beyond her new 'label.' And the other hard part of this journey is that you never know when you will have to deal with this. You never know when someone will give you 'that look' while in public and she's having a meltdown. Or when you will get a phone call that says no one wants her. Well, that wasn't really what the phone call I received said, but that is what I heard! For better or worse, we set up these filters and preconceived notions based on our experiences and emotions. Here I was struggling to keep Naomi awake getting her ready for an EEG when Jerod calls me and tells me that the wonderful weekend away that some of our friends had planned on giving us, wouldn't be able to happen because they weren't able to find someone to take Naomi. I wasn't angry or thinking of anyone in particular to be mad at or blame, but I was hurt nevertheless. Maybe it was coincidence, but why was she the only one that no one seemed to want to keep?? It didn't help that the first words that came to my mind was those of someone I considered a good friend, someone that Naomi has always had a special affection for. I remember crying with her at the very beginning of this journey, before we even had the official diagnosis. Crying about how people were going to treat her differently, and people wouldn't want to be around her, or want to watch her for us anymore. And I suppose it wasn't fair to do this, but I had said this to this person expecting a specific response back, expecting to hear kind words of encouragement and comfort. Instead I got back, 'I suppose there are specially trained people that you can pay to watch her when you need it' And on that day it didn't affect me as much as it did a few months later after the official diagnosis, and this person didn't seem at all concerned about what we might be dealing with. Not that I think everyone else should be so consumed with our problems, but I thought I had meant more to this person, I had thought that Naomi meant more to this person. So again, when I got that phone call, these same words were echoing through my mind. And I all I kept hearing was, No one wants her, no one will want to love her!

I think too, as her mom, it is hard for me to put myself in someone else's shoe. Someone from the outside looking in. There are a lot of stigmas and negative information out there about autism, or any disability really. And I do understand that it isn't something everyone was cut out to deal with it. It doesn't make me feel any better or hurt any less, but it does help me to not be angry and/or bitter.

When we look at Naomi we don't see this child that has a bunch of issues that needs correcting, causes us embarrassment, or makes our life difficult. Not at all, not even at her worst. What we see is all of the wonderful things that make her, her. Some of them make us laugh, some make us feel blessed and loved by her and God, and some make us really have to work on our self-control and patience! But isn't it like that with all of our kids?? I think of my other 3, and they make me feel the same way!!

I love this quote from 'The Shack' the one that I was originally looking for to share:

"Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you. And the more you know another, the richer the colors of that relationship."

I remember talking with a friend and she asked us moms of multiple kids to be honest and share whether or not we truly didn't love one child just a little tiny bit more than the other, and I had shared how honestly no, and how when I had read this quote I had thought of how it perfectly described the situation. How you can have 4 different children, and truly love them all the same amount. It might be for different reasons, but you love them all the same.

I think of Isaac, he is our funny guy. He has an amazing memory and once the rules make sense to him, he'll stick by them. And he is sooooo tender-hearted. He melts my heart with the things he says and does, and I generally get at least 10 hugs a day, and am often being told that he loves me! He grasps some concepts that blow me away, especially for how young he is. But he also challenges us in great ways. Being the first born, or perhaps just being the genetic combination of his daddy and I, he things he knows everything. We always has an answer for everything, he always feels he should get an explanation before he needs to comply with what we are asking. He at times honestly thinks that he knows more than we do, that his way would be better! And we have to seek out new ways to teach him lessons, and we need a lot of self-control and patience with him. To take the time to teach him important life lessons, to really change the way his heart is working things out at times, not simply change his behavior.

Jojo is our uber girly-girl. She loves jewelry and looking pretty. When I get dressed at times she will tell me 'Mommy you look beautiful' She's also our little dancer, you can tell she has some brasilian in her by the way she will swings her hips! Which is also why her dad and I decided she'll be home-schooled through college, not just 4th grade (Just kidding...maybe! ;) She can be as sweet as she wants to at times and do things just to make you laugh. But she has a real bad temper, coupled with some great whining skills! She thinks she is 15 and everyone else's boss. She has gotten the idea pretty good that she won't boss mom and dad around, but not so much with her siblings. She goes around shaking her finger at them and snatching things away that she feels they shouldn't be doing. She also wants to be the center of attention often, and will immediately imitate whatever it is we might highlight someone else doing. So we know we need to work extra hard at making sure she knows she's worthy and special just as God made her, she doesn't need to be like anyone else. We also need to hone in her bossy-ness and harness it into some good and useful purposes.

Elijah is still perfect! :) We are simply trying to take it all in with him and really enjoy him being this little. With this being our 4th time around, we truly know how fast it all goes by, and since as far as we know he is our last, we don't want to rush anything! Although, we can already see traces of a temper and impatience with him...and as he grows, I am sure so will the challenges he will bring us!

So back to Naomi. Yes we need to keep a closer eye with her. The girl has some amazing upper body strength and a curious mind that gets her into all sorts of (usually messy) situations. But there really isn't any special way to 'deal' with her. Does she have special needs, sure, but so do my other three children. Since we experience first hand and often all of the good things she brings into our lives, it is hard for me to imagine someone pushing her away because of a label she now has, because of these challenges. The way I see it, all this label does is create a more specific road map on how to meet some of the challenges. Since we know what is affecting her, we can choose from a more specific list on what to help her with.

Back to that Thursday...it was a rough day all around. Just after the phone call, I had to deal with her having major meltdowns in the waiting room because she was absolutely exhausted from being up most of the night, as well as some medicine they had me give her to get her to fall asleep for sure during the exam. And since our appointment was delayed by 40 min, it wasn't good! Then I went into a room where I had to hold her down while a nurse tied down her arms with a white blanket, then wrapped her up into a cocoon with the same blanket, and then grabbed an actual restraint and strapped her onto the bed. Then while my heart was already broken into a thousand pieces, I had to hold her down for about 30 min while little electrodes where placed, glued, and blow dried onto her head. I was doing all I could to hold back tears and my urge to just hold my baby. At that moment everything was reminding me that she wasn't 'normal', that our lives weren't typical. I wanted to make it all go away and just hold her and let her know she is special and loved.

But God is good, and that very night he worked on my heart and calmed me down. (Since this post is long enough I will go into more details on that on another one). He calmed my emotions, helping me to not allow the hurt become anger. He also blessed us with some great people in our lives that are able to see past her autism, past the unknown, and be with her. So we did still have our weekend away. And Naomi had a great time with a great friend of ours. And we were thoroughly blessed by the love of God that was shown to us through so many friends who worked real hard on our home for us!! (more on that later as well!)

Most people wouldn't know very much about autism, and how to deal with it. And that is ok, it doesn't make them bad people. I also have to remind myself that perhaps they don't even mean to hurt me and aren't even aware that they do. There is still so much not known about Autism and it certainly isn't talked about very much, so no wonder people may not know how to react.

For those reading this that are in our life and may be uncomfortable because you don't quite know what to expect, what to do, how to act, how to be around Naomi, or anyone else with Autism. Please don't hesitate to talk to us! We won't be offended or hurt, we'll be touched that you care enough to take the time to learn about it. I remember just a day or two after her appointment sitting at a friend's basement, supposed to be watching a Brasil World Cup game. And Naomi's recent appointment came up. I remember how this person was really intrigued and kept asking me all of these questions about it. I hadn't realized it at the time, but I remember laying in bed that night thinking how good that made me feel. That someone cared enough to take time away from what they were supposed to be doing to step into our world!!

It also helps when I am reminded that we aren't the only ones that have to deal with this. That is isn't a personal thing, it's not a reflection of us. It isn't because we aren't worthy of that kind of love or deserve that kind of friendship. I am reading Mother Warriors and this quote from someone's story with autism really jumped out at me.

'Jack has a few people in his life who stayed dear to him and I bless those people every day because it takes a lot of unconditional love, patience, and understanding to be in someone's life who has autism and the few who have stuck by us I will be forever indebted to.' - Becky Behnan

It reminded me that this is a hard road, it isn't something that just anyone can handle. And that I need to focus and be blessed by the people God has given the strength to travel on it with us!! Yes, Naomi may have some special needs, but there are special people out there that are willing to help us meet them!!

Overall, I am grateful for some amazing people God has placed around us at this time. I just have to remember to make a more conscientious effort to focus on that during the moments that I feel alone and heart-broken! Like the Israelites leaving Egypt and going through the dessert...I focus too much on the problem right in front of me, and forget to look at the big picture of all that God has done for us, and Naomi!!

On a new path

**WARNING** You should sit down, this may take while!! :)

It has been a while since I have been on here, and life has been busy and full! But what I need to share has taken place in the last two months, though at times it feels as though we have lived 6 during that time.

On June 2nd our wonderful and precious Naomi was diagnosed with mild autism. At times I am not sure I should preface with the word 'mild', because I feel that it minimizes the severity of what we are dealing with. Nor does it guarantee any particular out come for her future...but I already digress!

For quite sometime, I tried to ignore a nagging feeling that something was off with our princess. For over a year autism kept coming to my mind, and I am not quite sure why. All that I did know of autism (which wasn't much) leaned more towards the more intense issues, the kind we see in movies and such. And Naomi wasn't anywhere near that end, but that is what kept coming to my mind. I strongly believe it was her Creator, the One who made her and knew exactly what was going on in her body every moment of every day since her conception in my womb, that was placing that on my heart. Through a series of happenings, which perhaps I will go into further detail on a future post, we got to the point where I made an appointment with a specialist back in March. Then on April 29th, I really believe that God confirmed to me that indeed she was autistic, but we still needed to wait for her appointment. It was on June 2nd, and though at that point I was very certain that we'd be receiving the diagnosis it still took me by surprise. For one, from all I had been told about this doctor, I hadn't expected an actual diagnosis on that day, but rather the beginning of a handful of appointments and evaluations that would eventually bring us to that. And second, regardless of how prepared I thought I was to hear the words 'it's autism' something about having it be official still took me by surprise. Somehow I managed to not shed any tears, to stay focused on what the doctor was saying to us, and controlled enough to even ask her questions I had based on some great advice from a friend that has been walking this road for several years now, as well as some research I had done in preparation. Partly I think it's because God gave me the gift of knowing ahead of time...it's funny, tears were shed and my heart actually broke on April 29th, even though it wasn't 'official' just yet.

One major thing that I did know about autism was that in order to give Naomi the best opportunity to succeed, that I would have to be VERY proactive. This wasn't a situation where I could sit back and wait for doctors, therapists, or any one else tell me what to do next. So as soon as I was buckled back in the car after the appointment IT began. Phone calls, appointments scheduled, reading etc. By the end of that same day I had 5 books checked out from our library, 3 of which I had read by June 7th. In the month of June we had over 21 appts with specialists, therapists, lawyers, school officials etc. One thing I quickly learned was that we had a VERY small window of opportunity to choose, and start, the correct intervention treatment for Naomi, and time became a very precious commodity. Very quickly ABA, IEP, FAPE, ETR, MFE, OT became much more than an alphabet soup before us, and words like stimming, intervention, extinction pepper our vocabulary on a normal basis now. One thing I was surprised to find was how much our reaction to her diagnosis differed from so many of the accounts that I kept reading. Stories of parents emotionally falling apart, crying on end for several days if not weeks, etc were very common in the books I was reading, but that wasn't our reaction at all. I thank God that He had been preparing my heart for this day for some time. Since I scheduled her appointment in March I kept praying about the whole situation and talking about it with some great godly people that He has placed in my life. I really had a peace that if Naomi indeed did have autism, it wasn't a mistake, it wasn't by accident. Rather, that for whatever reason, one we may never know on this side of heaven, this is what was actually best for her life and ours. That this would be the way that her life would bring the most glory to God. It was something intentional; not a fluke, not something wrong. The bible says that God is our creator, and that He takes special care in making each one of us! Psalm 139 says:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth

And though to us this is a new path, an unexpected twist in our lives, it isn't for God. We are not having to go to plan 'B' for Naomi's life. This has always been her journey, always been the plan for her, we just didn't know it! Psalm 139 goes on to say:

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

And we have had a sense of peace from this knowledge! We never struggled with the 'why us' or 'who/what is to blame' that many parents seem to. I love this quote from one of the books I read by a Christian counselor and mother of an adult son with autism : 'I don't see Eric's challenges primarily as the consequences of a genetic mistake, a birth accident, or a vaccine injury, although any of those things may indeed have happened to him. But the Bible teaches that his body was designed and the course of his life planned in detail by his loving heavenly Father, long before I ever dreamed of having a son. So if he did indeed suffer brain damage during his birth or from a vaccination, this too, was from the hand of God, who is in control of all of the circumstances of our lives.' - Laura Hendrickson And I can honestly see how God orchestrated events that took place long before I was even pregnant with Naomi (such as meeting my friend Barb) so that we'd better be able to walk this road.

But it has still been a looooong and hard two months. It's funny, Naomi is still the same girl, doing the same things she has always done, yet in so many ways it all seems so different and new. Things got bad for a bit, the pressure of educating ourselves and making extremely important decisions, ones that would significantly affect the rest of her life soon became very overwhelming. Though I handled the diagnosis ok, the fact that my princess has autism ok, the process of what it all meant was difficult. There was heartache and disappointment as people that I had assumed would've cared more, relationships that I had thought were more significant, didn't seem to be concerned at all. The busyness of our days, appointment after appointment, book after book, to be able to quickly make the best decision for her; the pressure of how critical these next couple of years can be for her, and the fact that we can never have this time back; the overhaul of many aspects of our lives, including our diets, in an attempt to seek out different ways to maximize her potential; the absurd costs for the treatment required, all began to overwhelm me and take its toll on my heart. And perhaps the hardest challenge was the toll that this stress began to take on my relationship with my husband. But God has been faithful!! People that I never would've thought have stepped in and stepped up to help us, some good friends all of a sudden became great ones! He has brought wonderful therapists and doctors into our lives to help us navigate this new territory. And my husband came in and began to fight, when I didn't have the strength to. I told him of how I had read that 74% of marriages of children with autism ended in divorce, and he very confidently replied, "We beat the statistic of 80 something percent with the NFL, we will beat this one too!"

Though it was a long month and half, God gave me just the amount of strength I needed to get through it. And now, though at times my faith seemed to falter, and my trust was all but gone, I am seeing Him move on our behalf. On behalf of our precious baby girl. In the last couple of weeks a lot of things have began to come into place. I found out our current insurance plan is one of very few that may actually cover some of her therapy. We have found some other sources for funding as well that we are currently applying for. And some awesome friends of ours orchestrated a 'mini-extreme makeover' of our home so that we can put it on the market. We plan on downsizing so that we don't have to worry about funding for Naomi's treatment in the future. We have been talking about this for a couple of years, since before Jerod decided to raffle his Super Bowl ring for charity. It was something God was putting in our hearts, and the situation with Naomi was the last push we needed to actually do it.

Though we seem to be getting to the other side of a huge storm, I know that this is still just the beginning. And we still have a long way to go. Right now, my heart is at a good place, I am encouraged to see things coming together, to see God moving on our behalf. But we still need lots of prayers. For those of you that have been following along with us for a while, please keep praying, and those that are just finding out, please add us to your list!

We are quite aware of the reality that Naomi may always be limited by her autism, but we also know that her overcoming those limitations can be a reality! We want to work hard to do the most that we can to help her. But we want don't want to lose sight of how wonderful she is, just as God made her! How wonderful she is today, even with the many issues we are dealing with. We don't want to focus so much on the outcome that we want to see, that we miss out on the precious gifts God has for us along the way! I will be writing more often in our blog, as a means to journal our journey, to ask for prayers, to keep track of her progress, to share my burdens for those that might want to come along side us!

Our current prayer requests are for the final details for the funding for this first year of her program to come together. It will cost us $50,000 a year to provide her with the intense early intervention therapy that has been proven to result in significant gains for children in Naomi's situation. Also, for our house to sell quickly! It will be hard work to maintain it after our friends spruce it up for us. We also need for it to sell so we can be sure that moving forward we can fund her therapy without any hesitations. If our house doesn't sell quickly, we will also need funding to finish our basement so we can have a place designated for her treatment sessions. (more details on this later, but the most economic option was a home-based program. Believe it or not, there was programs that cost even more!!) And we'd like to have this all settled soon so that we may also get a puppy for Naomi. More on this on another day as well...but she loves animals, and dogs in particular really draw her out and engage her!

Also please pray for strength for us, me in particular, in handling all of this. It will be a road with many ups and downs, and I know at times more than others I will need some extra support. And for Naomi, that she would assimilate as well as possible to all the changes that will be taking place in her daily schedule very soon!!

There is still so much more to share in regards to all that has been happening, so check back soon!!